petac
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the petac page people for the ethical treatment of animal crackers |
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the petac bylaws
| 1. animal crackers are meant to be eaten whole. thou shall not bite off the feet, legs, heads, or tails. |
| 2. thou shall not purchase animal crackers in a bag, or with frosting. "free range" animal crackers come in one flavor, vanilla, and in a "circus box" with a string handle. |
| 3. thou shall not leave the box open, allowing the animals to escape. forced to fend for themselves, in this cruel world, will make them stale. |
| 4. thou shall not "dunk" thy animal crackers in milk. they are not oreos. |
| 5. thou shall not waste any animal crackers. all shall be eaten. we have no favorites. consequently, the "5 second rule" shall apply to all our beloved snacks. |
