have you ever known someone that knew just enough about a subject to sound like a leading authority? here, at the witless worm, we will lead you to that low hanging fruit. why know everything there is to know on a topic? especially, when you can get by on so much less? your comrades will still perceive you as knowledgeable; which now will be based on of your breath of intellect versus your shallowness. now, without the investment of time you will be perceived as well rounded and even well read. who has the time or dedication for true mastery in the era of thousand channel tv systems, gps enabled talking cars, interactive vr games and our personal favorite online voyeurism? no one, that's who. not even you sir.

so, we applaud you on your quest for shallow insight in all matters. kudos! in the coming weeks, months and years the staff, here at the witless worm, will instill nuggets of wisdom seldom found in the expanse that is the internet. well, that is of course, if you don't search too hard. again, we're all about perception, in actuality you've just skimmed the issues to wow the masses. we want you to be able to chime in on intellectual conversations held by smarter people. then just like the professionals, read: franken, moore and o'reilly, you make your quip and leave the scene on a high note. don»t wait around for meaningful debate. no, the statisfaction garnered from such sound byte retorts will fill the emptiness that currently consumes you.

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"We're paying him while he's doing this crap?!?" - worm 4's boss

"Truth be told, worm 1 moved to Bemidji to live with his "partner" and away from our prying eyes. And you thought I was the gay one." - worm 5

"Hmmmm... I'm gonna have to talk to my lawyers about this." - An Actual Worm